Staying Present while Playing

One of the reasons I think of parenting as a meditation is because of the similar feeling I get when meditating and when playing. I think play is the main way that children pray. They are already connected to God, and use play to work out their hardships in order to stay present and connected to God and to other humans.

I struggle with meditating. My mind wanders, I notice it wandering and I bring it back to the present, to my breath or whatever I am focusing on at the moment. I don't hate myself for having a mind that wanders, I like Pema Chodron's idea of when you notice yourself thinking so simply say "thinking" with the gentleness of the touch of a feather (or bubble?) (obviously, I'm paraphrasing) in order to bring yourself back to the now, with lovingkindness for yourself, rather than using meditation as another way to beat yourself up.

Well, I believe in playing WITH your child(ren). I believe that young people (and all people for that matter) do better with some loving attention from each other. We are all connected, and it is through present-time connection that we can really notice that. But playing with my Sweet Darling, is not always what I'd consider "fun". I have been known to avoid it, much like I have been known to avoid meditating. There are SO many things on my list that HAVE to get done before I can play or meditate. And that list never gets done. And my life goes better when I just do it, even if it is only for a short period of time. I use a timer for both meditating and playing, so that I can not have worry in the back of my head pulling my attention away. The timer is set, and I can now choose to be present for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, 30 minutes 45 minutes or an hour (to be honest, that rarely happens that I play for an hours straight with perfect attention). And when I choose to be present in play, I allow myself to get swept up in the play, just like I would have allowed myself to as a child. As a young person, I would have more than allowed myself to get swept up in the play, that was the entire purpose of the play, to be there, in it, completely absorbed, a hundred percent. To be completely present while playing, which then allows things to bubble up: feeling lonely, feeling a lack of power because I am young and big people make most my decisions for me, feeling scared or confused about any number of things.

Play allows those feelings to bubble up, and then we got to play about them and release them, so that the did not become lodged into us. I think this process happens even more perfectly with the loving attention of a playful parent who understands what you are doing, and jumps in and leaves judgment and analysis out and just plays with you in present time. I think this is what God does with us--God just stays present with us and offers us unconditional loving attention, and we make great use of it, when we choose to notice it and connect with it--so do our kids. They connect with God through us, as well as with us.